Oxymoron for the Day: Paperless Bulletin Boards


Okay, so the big thing around school this summer was the fire chief came around and said we aren’t allowed to use butcher paper on the bulletin boards because it could catch on fire.

Yes, really.

So we are supposed to get flame-retardant paper. Flame Retardant Paper. Have you ever heard of such a thing? Isn’t paper by nature FLAMMABLE?

So, I went to JoAnn’s to look at flame-resistant fabric, like for children’s sleepwear. Of all the tens of thousands of bolts of fabrics, THREE were flame resistant. And they were UG-LEEE.

So I said, “What’s the point, it’s not like the cinderblock is going to catch on fire.” Wait, at our school, after the mold and the roof and the leaks, it probably would.

But my brilliant new revelation was this: How can we put the kids’ work on the bulletin board, because that’s made of paper, too.

This may be worse than the year we weren’t going to have toilet paper.

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